Yesterday....

I wore a pair of my size 14 skinny jeans.....they have been the test jean....you know the one you try on and swear like a sailor because you look horrible and how did this happen @#&! Then you throw them back in the closet, slam the door and search for chocolate!! I have been working out hard I really have...I've struggled on the food part but made lots of changes and good choices. That should totally count for something right...right ! So I have totes and totes in my basement of Size 8,10,12,14 and currently wearing a 16! I'm not happy about it or plan to stay in that size long....so I don't own a lot of pants,  maybe 5! 2 jeans, one cargo, one cord and a dress pant. Why invest a lot when I have totes and totes of sizes to pick from. The problem is I've been in a 16 for a long while now .....more than 6 months. 

So yesterday I played in the snow with Sophie soaking wet wearing my current favorite cargo.....Had 15 minutes before dinner date with Hubby.....run in closet @#&! should have done laundry nothing to wear.....So I grab the Skinny Jean hiding in the corner...put them on and zip them up .........! They zipped , I could kick, I could bend, I could stretch! It was a go......I probably should of thrown on a pair of Spanx to seal the deal but I was late! 

Did I celebrate the fact I was wearing a size lower...maybe for a minute in my mind by myself! We went to dinner made bad choices there ...in my defense I had no other choice we shared a pizza and had to have a beer....! 

I couldn't get home fast enough and take off the @#$!@#$! skinny jeans....I lasted 3.5 hours in them! Omg....! They are not ready for me yet....back in the corner they go! But this morning I thought to my size 16 self.....wow wait a minute everybody knows 2 day jeans are the best....So those babies my see the light of day very soon!

So today is another day....refocus, make good choices and love the skin I'm in!

Not me!

Lets converse....

These puppies are my all time favorite......I know it's like eating chalk but I love them! So today I went to CVS saw them and their friends Valentine Peeps and Cinnamon Hearts just calling me, I resisted. Later visited Walmart and Target....with every turn I was staring at them...feeling weak! Omg....how I miss my friends....my sweet sweet friends just look them...what's not to love! Okay the sugar, empty calories, High fructose corn syrup......! It was hard but I made it home without a package of them and their friends too.  I think this journey is going to be hard....the temptations are everywhere! I'm not sure how strong I am and if I can hold the focus long enough to make it through the rough days!
How do you hold your focus to get to goal? I feel like I made it through little hurdles and stumble a little get up try again. When will I just get up and run never looking or thinking just do?

Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step. 

Martin Luther King, Jr. 

Holy Stairs-Rome, Italy

I've taken the steps toward a new healthier me..some baby steps, some giant leaps....mostly forward and a few steps backwards..one step at a time...I have faith I will make it to the top.

Keeping me in check

It's not that I don't know I need to exercise....my jeans let me know every time I put them on. But there is someone else in my family that puts pressure on me....not my hubby or my daughter but my dog Sophie.

You see her here waiting...

The second you put on sweats or sneakers she grabs a toy and heads for the basement door! We have a workout room in our basement equipped with just about everything you need. Here's where the pressure comes in...sometime I just wear sweats or sneakers just because they are comfortable! Sophie carries her toy around waiting to go downstairs and workout! I look at her and say I'm not working out stop pressuring me! Or not today Sophie! 

So far Sophie has gotten her workout in I'm 2 for 2 so far this week! Woot Woot! 

Do you play the numbers game?

Does it matter to you what's on the scale?

What about body fat?

BMI?

Or 

Are you able to focus on how you feel and how your clothes fit?

I seem to be stuck getting out of the numbers game and focusing on feeling.

I had my body fat and BMI checked this week..holy crap if that wasn't a kick in the gut!

I feel amazing, I'm sleeping better my clothes look better...but

I keep hopping on this guy

And I feel defeated. My trainer keeps reminding me to stay off the scale, muscle weighs more than fat!

Yada,yada yada

All I can do is yell at the scale to move already! 

How to get out of the numbers game and focus on the skinny jeans?

Today..

All I could think about was....

Cupcakes....Yup visions of Cupcakes danced in my head!! 

Image from Google

Day one

Day one of the official new healthier me! I don't know why but I feel like you should always start a diet on a Monday! Not looking at this as a diet but a healthier option, lets be real it's a diet! Last night I chugged enjoyed my last glass of wine. I think I will try no alcohol Monday - Friday and one glass on Saturday and Sunday, who knows maybe I can slowly cut out a day and finally have zero!
This was my breakfast today:

One whole egg, little FF milk, tablespoon of Salsa and small amount of mozzarella cheese on a whole wheat tortilla. I feel pretty satisfied. Eating 6 mini meals a day is going to be different. We got our new treadmill yesterday so I'm excited to get downstairs and give it a spin this morning. Hoping to do minimum 40 minutes but if Kelly and Regis is good today my make it one hour! woot woot!

Here's hoping soon my scale won't say this :

(image from Flickr)

Making it a great day with good choices and positive attitude, let the Journey begin!

Tools for success...

One of my favorite apps on my iphone is MY Fitness Pal. I also use it on my computer so updating is quick and easy. My Fitness Pal.com  keeps track of measurements, weight, calories and exercise. It's so easy to use  and they have every food imaginable online with all the nutrient values.

When I did weight watchers one of the keys to success is tracking and I have to say I was not good at it. Writing things done is painful and time consuming, I'm a more online kind of girl, plus my phone is pretty much an appendage.

The thing I like about it, is it keeps you conscious of if you are having your daily allowance of sugars, fiber etc....I was shocked, first thing I have is coffee and I love the flavored coffeemate. I would use all my sugar for the day on 2 Tbs of creamer......so my goal is to somehow enjoy soy or milk again.....gonna be harder than given up wine!!

My Journey begins

Starting January 1, 2011 I'm beginning a new journey back to a healthy new me! I want to say it's a journey back to the old me in former days before life in Germany. But I've been back living in America since July and the old me hasn't returned. Perhaps it's lost at Heathrow Airport or still on the train from Amsterdam. All I know is I have to stop waiting for it to show up, and I need to start new.

So this is my journey for 2011 to get fit, be stronger and more confident....be the best I can be.
There are many things I want to accomplish this year but the main thing is losing weight and feeling better.
I've committed to a boot camp 3 times a week and I'm hoping on the odd days to do cardio at home. I'm also taking Zumba once a week. I plan on starting a nutrition program with low,high and no carb days for the first 3 months. No alcohol and lots of water.....yikes going to be hard!

This is the first chapter of my journey of 2011 it's a blank page. One to be filled with opportunity, hope, success and little failure.